I’ve learned a few things about my doubts and fears from doing yoga.
Yoga teaches you to slow down a bit and notice your body and your breathing. Once you do it in class, you start doing this throughout the week and recognize when you’re in a more fearful state. You are able to calm your body by expanding the lungs and breathing more slowly. I have done that in moments of great fear.
For example, many years ago before I actually knew anything about yoga, I went skiing with my husband. I hadn’t been skiing in years, not since before I had developed a fear of heights. I didn’t realize until we got moving on the ski lift how high we’d be as we went up the mountain. I realized I was shaking like crazy and was gripping the rail like I was going to die, my heart beating fast and out of control. I felt like I was sliding off the bench of the ski lift and was totally in a panic mode.
I told myself that while I couldn’t get down from the ski lift right then, I could slow down my breathing and relax my grip. It was scary to relax my grip since I felt like I was sliding (I wasn’t), but I made myself open my hands slightly so my body wouldn’t be so tensed up. And I made myself consciously breathe more slowly. That eventually led to me relaxing in my thoughts and made me adjust to the height of where I was in relation to the snow below me — amazing! Relaxing the body in order to relax or change the thought patterns is one approach to conquering fears.
I also learned in my yoga training that I tend to send thoughts of doubts and fears to myself more often than I realized. I tell myself that I’m too old to do something and that I can’t when others are diving in and aren’t afraid. In this yoga workshop, the teacher wanted us to learn poses that looked like it would make me collapse on my head, flatten my face, and break my neck. Who wants that? I told myself that my arms weren’t strong enough, my torso is too long compared to my lower body, I’m too heavy, or that I’m just not as young as the others. But then I looked around the room and everyone else was trying it and some were close to my age, one maybe older. Why was I so afraid?
In these instances, I’ve had to tell myself that perhaps my thoughts are incorrect. I may be JUST the right age for doing that particular pose. Or my body may be completely equipped to do it — I just need to explore and see. I tell myself to have trust in my teacher and listen to what he’s telling me to do.
One day, our teacher asked us to do Sirsana 1 pose, which is the headstand where you rest on your elbows and forearms. I had been doing tripod headstands (Sirsana 2) for many, many years and could easily stay up for a very long time. My body was very comfortable there. But the few times I tried this forearm yoga headstand that I’ve seen over and over in yoga videos and books, I thought my neck would break! My neck felt very vulnerable and I didn’t ever want to try it again.
All of these thoughts were swirling around in my head – fearful thoughts for sure, as our teacher was introducing this pose to us. He told us this was a safer, more supportive headstand. We could stay up in this headstand much longer because it created less stress in the neck. Hmm, really? Could I rid myself of the old thoughts and allow new ones to take their place? I pondered the possibility of doing this headstand while I watched others try it.
I approached the wall and finally decided to give it one try. Just one. I couldn’t even kick up into that version of headstand. I didn’t have the leg strength. But I had a friend help me. Once I was up, I could stay there somewhat. It wasn’t easy and I didn’t hold it for long. I had a few questions and when our teacher asked for questions at the end, I raised my hand. What did he often have us do when we had a question? Go up and show him our pose so he can see what we are experiencing. And was I asked to go up against the wall? No. He wanted me to come to the mat in the middle of the room so the whole class could see and he’d be there to spot me.
I had a little fear of falling over or hurting my neck, but had seen him spot others in other advanced poses, so I knew he would keep me safe. But my legs had a hard time even getting up or staying up, despite my efforts. My fears of breaking my neck may have been gone, but my doubts of my abilities to figure this out were HUGE.
He told everyone that it was just a matter of me getting my body aligned and properly stacked. He told the class that for some, it may take a year or more to get this pose, but he could see me able to do this pose in just weeks. WEEKS! My doubts were starting to melt. My teacher had over 20 years experience teaching and had written best-selling yoga books. He seemed to know my abilities much better than I did.
I was determined to practice. I practiced in class with two friends spotting me (still a bit of fear there) and one of my friends told me that my elbows were too far apart. He showed me a trick to make sure my elbows are always the same width as my shoulders and far enough away from my head. Another told me to lengthen my shoulders away from my elbows. That made a huge difference in my alignment. I went home and tried it the way they advised against the wall. I still couldn’t kick up into it by myself, so I put a yoga block beneath my feet to give me an edge. Once I was able to get myself into the headstand, I practiced again and again. I was able to kick up without the block within maybe a week’s time.
One night at home, I found if I looked across the room (as I remembered was suggested in class) instead of more toward the floor, my alignment improved to almost what it was in my tripod headstands. Amazing! It’s so great to watch my body and mind connect like that. After a few more days, I thought I might be able to do it in the middle of the room without the wall. I was! I did!
I was excited to finally be able to do this in class and with my first opportunity to do so, I couldn’t do it. This was toward the end of a 90 minute yoga class and I didn’t have the strength to stay up in the headstand without the wall. I also think I created some anxiety and instability by building it up so much in my mind. But that was okay. I’d get there. And get there, I did! Just a few days later in another class, I attempted the headstand on my mat without the wall nearb. I did it. I DID IT! Fears gone. Doubts gone. Too old? No way! I can do this now and I love it!
.
.
It’s been ten years since that yoga training and I’ve had wrist and foot injuries that could have ended my attempts to do headstands ever again, but once I got the doctor’s clearance, I built up my strength with renewed confidence and optimism that I could do this. It took patience and practice, but I did.
When I think about the possibility of a few doubtful, fearful thoughts getting in the way of me being able to do something I love so much, it makes me look around at what else I may miss out on if I let my doubts and fears get in the way.
Is there something you wish you could do or want to do, but just keep telling yourself you can’t?
While there are valid reasons that what’s good for one person may not be good for another (I don’t teach headstands to everyone, for example, it’s not safe for everyone to do). When presented an opportunity, we can determine what is a valid concern and what is a doubt or fear that is just getting in the way. You can consult with others to be sure, but for the most part, you’ll be able to know the difference.
If you haven’t tried setting aside your fears to see what you can accomplish, do it. You may hit a few walls, but more often than not, you will find yourself learning and growing and doing things that will bring you great joy! Have at it and let me know how it goes!
I’ve learned a few things about my doubts and fears from doing yoga.
Yoga teaches you to slow down a bit and notice your body and your breathing. Once you do it in class, you start doing this throughout the week and recognize when you’re in a more fearful state. You are able to calm your body by expanding the lungs and breathing more slowly. I have done that in moments of great fear.
For example, many years ago before I actually knew anything about yoga, I went skiing with my husband. I hadn’t been skiing in years, not since before I had developed a fear of heights. I didn’t realize until we got moving on the ski lift how high we’d be as we went up the mountain. I realized I was shaking like crazy and was gripping the rail like I was going to die, my heart beating fast and out of control. I felt like I was sliding off the bench of the ski lift and was totally in a panic mode.
I told myself that while I couldn’t get down from the ski lift right then, I could slow down my breathing and relax my grip. It was scary to relax my grip since I felt like I was sliding (I wasn’t), but I made myself open my hands slightly so my body wouldn’t be so tensed up. And I made myself consciously breathe more slowly. That eventually led to me relaxing in my thoughts and made me adjust to the height of where I was in relation to the snow below me — amazing! Relaxing the body in order to relax or change the thought patterns is one approach to conquering fears.
I also learned in my yoga training that I tend to send thoughts of doubts and fears to myself more often than I realized. I tell myself that I’m too old to do something and that I can’t when others are diving in and aren’t afraid. In this yoga workshop, the teacher wanted us to learn poses that looked like it would make me collapse on my head, flatten my face, and break my neck. Who wants that? I told myself that my arms weren’t strong enough, my torso is too long compared to my lower body, I’m too heavy, or that I’m just not as young as the others. But then I looked around the room and everyone else was trying it and some were close to my age, one maybe older. Why was I so afraid?
In these instances, I’ve had to tell myself that perhaps my thoughts are incorrect. I may be JUST the right age for doing that particular pose. Or my body may be completely equipped to do it — I just need to explore and see. I tell myself to have trust in my teacher and listen to what he’s telling me to do.
One day, our teacher asked us to do Sirsana 1 pose, which is the headstand where you rest on your elbows and forearms. I had been doing tripod headstands (Sirsana 2) for many, many years and could easily stay up for a very long time. My body was very comfortable there. But the few times I tried this forearm yoga headstand that I’ve seen over and over in yoga videos and books, I thought my neck would break! My neck felt very vulnerable and I didn’t ever want to try it again.
All of these thoughts were swirling around in my head – fearful thoughts for sure, as our teacher was introducing this pose to us. He told us this was a safer, more supportive headstand. We could stay up in this headstand much longer because it created less stress in the neck. Hmm, really? Could I rid myself of the old thoughts and allow new ones to take their place? I pondered the possibility of doing this headstand while I watched others try it.
I approached the wall and finally decided to give it one try. Just one. I couldn’t even kick up into that version of headstand. I didn’t have the leg strength. But I had a friend help me. Once I was up, I could stay there somewhat. It wasn’t easy and I didn’t hold it for long. I had a few questions and when our teacher asked for questions at the end, I raised my hand. What did he often have us do when we had a question? Go up and show him our pose so he can see what we are experiencing. And was I asked to go up against the wall? No. He wanted me to come to the mat in the middle of the room so the whole class could see and he’d be there to spot me.
I had a little fear of falling over or hurting my neck, but had seen him spot others in other advanced poses, so I knew he would keep me safe. But my legs had a hard time even getting up or staying up, despite my efforts. My fears of breaking my neck may have been gone, but my doubts of my abilities to figure this out were HUGE.
He told everyone that it was just a matter of me getting my body aligned and properly stacked. He told the class that for some, it may take a year or more to get this pose, but he could see me able to do this pose in just weeks. WEEKS! My doubts were starting to melt. My teacher had over 20 years experience teaching and had written best-selling yoga books. He seemed to know my abilities much better than I did.
I was determined to practice. I practiced in class with two friends spotting me (still a bit of fear there) and one of my friends told me that my elbows were too far apart. He showed me a trick to make sure my elbows are always the same width as my shoulders and far enough away from my head. Another told me to lengthen my shoulders away from my elbows. That made a huge difference in my alignment. I went home and tried it the way they advised against the wall. I still couldn’t kick up into it by myself, so I put a yoga block beneath my feet to give me an edge. Once I was able to get myself into the headstand, I practiced again and again. I was able to kick up without the block within maybe a week’s time.
One night at home, I found if I looked across the room (as I remembered was suggested in class) instead of more toward the floor, my alignment improved to almost what it was in my tripod headstands. Amazing! It’s so great to watch my body and mind connect like that. After a few more days, I thought I might be able to do it in the middle of the room without the wall. I was! I did!
I was excited to finally be able to do this in class and with my first opportunity to do so, I couldn’t do it. This was toward the end of a 90 minute yoga class and I didn’t have the strength to stay up in the headstand without the wall. I also think I created some anxiety and instability by building it up so much in my mind. But that was okay. I’d get there. And get there, I did! Just a few days later in another class, I attempted the headstand on my mat without the wall nearb. I did it. I DID IT! Fears gone. Doubts gone. Too old? No way! I can do this now and I love it!
.
.
It’s been ten years since that yoga training and I’ve had wrist and foot injuries that could have ended my attempts to do headstands ever again, but once I got the doctor’s clearance, I built up my strength with renewed confidence and optimism that I could do this. It took patience and practice, but I did.
When I think about the possibility of a few doubtful, fearful thoughts getting in the way of me being able to do something I love so much, it makes me look around at what else I may miss out on if I let my doubts and fears get in the way.
Is there something you wish you could do or want to do, but just keep telling yourself you can’t?
While there are valid reasons that what’s good for one person may not be good for another (I don’t teach headstands to everyone, for example, it’s not safe for everyone to do). When presented an opportunity, we can determine what is a valid concern and what is a doubt or fear that is just getting in the way. You can consult with others to be sure, but for the most part, you’ll be able to know the difference.
If you haven’t tried setting aside your fears to see what you can accomplish, do it. You may hit a few walls, but more often than not, you will find yourself learning and growing and doing things that will bring you great joy! Have at it and let me know how it goes!
