There are different ways to think about how you are. There are tendencies we have or habits we’ve developed that we could change with some awareness, planning and effort. And there are things about us that are wired in. When you have a brain that is wired differently than those who don’t have ADHD, this can manifest in certain personality traits, tendencies, and even physical and emotional needs.
Take a typical ADHD trait that people talk about like oversharing. I actually don’t like that term because who gets to decide what amount of sharing is perfect, what is not enough, and what is over the line. The psychiatrist I went to for my ADHD evaluation for sure had an amount in mind because I notes from my exam, next to Speech, he wrote “hyperverbal” which really did make me smile. It was like getting my report card showing academic progress and success, but pretty much every time a note at the bottom from the teacher, saying “talks a lot.”
I get it with school. They need it to be quiet and orderly in the classroom and a talkative student could be disruptive. But in real life maybe some people enjoy talking to someone who likes to share. And yes, having an imbalance in a conversation isn’t the best either. It just depends on who is involved, their needs, level of awareness, etc. More on that another time.
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For sure if you have ADHD, you can point to this or that in the way that you are and that you’ve maybe even seen as unique. It’s not like you’ve never met anyone else like you, but you have noticed (and maybe it’s because others have pointed it out to you) that you do things or process things differently. You may even be the only one you know of who does certain things like needing one knee, foot or leg propped up to hip level while seated.
I didn’t even realize this as I’m writing this, but I’m doing that right now. Sitting at my kitchen table, typing away with one foot on my chair and my knee up against the table. When I was a teenager, I remember sitting at the dinner table with one leg on the table. I wouldn’t notice till half way through the meal. I’m laughing now just thinking about it and thankfully my mom and my brothers never thought anything of it. But yes, I ate my dinner with my foot resting up on the table.
I’ve heard people say it isn’t good for your posture or is dangerous to sit that way in the car, but yes, I’ve sat many an hour in the passenger seat with both feet on the dash or even one leg out the window. If it weren’t for women on social media posting this was an ADHD thing, I would have never known that anyone else in the world did that.
Same with lying down with one arm high in the air, and not just for a few minutes, but sustained for an hour or more while talking with friends. I realize this is exposing me to look odd to somem, but it’s how I am and I’m okay with that. I hope you are, too! Whatever it is that is unique about you and it’s not likely you’d be able to change, I hope you love how you are and make peace with even the frustrating parts.
I’ve mostly mentioned external traits — things other people could notice like how you sit or how much you toalk. But there are plenty of internal battles that come with ADHD. Whatever that is for you, I hope you make peace with that. Maybe you forget where you need to be or you think of so many so many things to do last minute before you leave the house that you end up late even though you tried your best to be on time.
I get frustrated at times, too, but for the most part, I’ve made peace with how I am. I create strategies when I think it might help and make peace with the mishaps that arise from what I can’t seem to change. I hope you can do the same because I’m sure you have more to offer than you can possibly realize.
There are different ways to think about how you are. There are tendencies we have or habits we’ve developed that we could change with some awareness, planning and effort. And there are things about us that are wired in. When you have a brain that is wired differently than those who don’t have ADHD, this can manifest in certain personality traits, tendencies, and even physical and emotional needs.
Take a typical ADHD trait that people talk about like oversharing. I actually don’t like that term because who gets to decide what amount of sharing is perfect, what is not enough, and what is over the line. The psychiatrist I went to for my ADHD evaluation for sure had an amount in mind because I notes from my exam, next to Speech, he wrote “hyperverbal” which really did make me smile. It was like getting my report card showing academic progress and success, but pretty much every time a note at the bottom from the teacher, saying “talks a lot.”
I get it with school. They need it to be quiet and orderly in the classroom and a talkative student could be disruptive. But in real life maybe some people enjoy talking to someone who likes to share. And yes, having an imbalance in a conversation isn’t the best either. It just depends on who is involved, their needs, level of awareness, etc. More on that another time.
.
.
For sure if you have ADHD, you can point to this or that in the way that you are and that you’ve maybe even seen as unique. It’s not like you’ve never met anyone else like you, but you have noticed (and maybe it’s because others have pointed it out to you) that you do things or process things differently. You may even be the only one you know of who does certain things like needing one knee, foot or leg propped up to hip level while seated.
I didn’t even realize this as I’m writing this, but I’m doing that right now. Sitting at my kitchen table, typing away with one foot on my chair and my knee up against the table. When I was a teenager, I remember sitting at the dinner table with one leg on the table. I wouldn’t notice till half way through the meal. I’m laughing now just thinking about it and thankfully my mom and my brothers never thought anything of it. But yes, I ate my dinner with my foot resting up on the table.
I’ve heard people say it isn’t good for your posture or is dangerous to sit that way in the car, but yes, I’ve sat many an hour in the passenger seat with both feet on the dash or even one leg out the window. If it weren’t for women on social media posting this was an ADHD thing, I would have never known that anyone else in the world did that.
Same with lying down with one arm high in the air, and not just for a few minutes, but sustained for an hour or more while talking with friends. I realize this is exposing me to look odd to somem, but it’s how I am and I’m okay with that. I hope you are, too! Whatever it is that is unique about you and it’s not likely you’d be able to change, I hope you love how you are and make peace with even the frustrating parts.
I’ve mostly mentioned external traits — things other people could notice like how you sit or how much you toalk. But there are plenty of internal battles that come with ADHD. Whatever that is for you, I hope you make peace with that. Maybe you forget where you need to be or you think of so many so many things to do last minute before you leave the house that you end up late even though you tried your best to be on time.
I get frustrated at times, too, but for the most part, I’ve made peace with how I am. I create strategies when I think it might help and make peace with the mishaps that arise from what I can’t seem to change. I hope you can do the same because I’m sure you have more to offer than you can possibly realize.