So many women are discovering they have ADHD in adulthood. Whether you’ve put the pieces together yourself, taken a quiz or have received a diagnosis from a doctor, once that lightbulb goes on, it’s somewhat lifechanging. Your life may go on as before, but with a new understanding or insight to why you do this or that. I’m sure everyone’s story is unique, but we all share this moment of discovery.

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For me, it brought SO MANY answers!! Oh, so THAT’s why I do this, or THAT explains why I do that. I even remembered back to my first day of Kindergarten when I didn’t want my mom to leave (which actually is not very much like me — I was pretty independent and remembering telling my mom from the time I was little, “I’ll do it myself!” Her memory is me saying, “I’ll do it my way, you do it your way!” I really was a sweet child. I just figured I’d do it myself if I could and I already had a good way.

Anyway, back to the first day of school, my mom kept trying to leave and I kept asking her to stay. Eventually (and it couldn’t be that much later), I had to use the bathroom and told my mom. The quick thinker that my mom was, she said, “Oh I don’t know where the bathroom is, your teacher will have to show you” so the teacher’s aide walked me down the hall while my mom slipped out.

Thankfully, I never had a teacher who got angry at me for talking or blurting (I did do my best to please the teacher in every class, every year), but I do remember what it felt like to sit at my desk and have such a tremendous need to talk, participate, share, give the answer and not get called on. I’m sure my teachers did call on me, but it felt like they didn’t because I raised my hand far more often than they’d let me talk. My teacher would tell me to put my hand down and give someone else a chance. I even remember her saying, “We know you know the answer, Renee, let’s give someone else a chance.”

Then she’d call on a shy girl who wasn’t raising her hand and didn’t look like she wanted to talk or knew the answer. It’s not like I was wanting to take over or anything. I just had a huge urge to share what was in my head, to let the teacher know I was hearing what she was telling me, to participate in the conversation that felt like it was just between us.

One year, I’m pretty sure it was the night before my first day of school for third grade, I remember lying in my bed, planning out how I would be at school. I would no longer be the girl who raised my hand all the time, I would be shy. I would sit quietly and not blurt out any answers. I would sit still until the teacher said, “Renee, do you know the answer?” then I would so happily share! It would be so great!!

Then the next day at school, I sat at my desk and watched the clock. I tried and tried to stay still and not talk or raise my hand and everything in my being struggled with being the shy girl. I kept watching the clock and as it got closer to lunch time, I remember thinking, “THAT’S IT!!! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” and I raised my hand and participated.

I’m not sure why that stayed with me, but I do know that throughout my years in school, even though I did well in my studies, I had a great need to communicate with my teacher or anyone in class (back in the day when we passed notes or french braided each other’s hair in class to help pass the time). As an adult, I’ve had to self-regulate best I can in a class situation, limiting myself to two times of raising my hand to share an experience or thought. And I really weigh out that second thought because if I use it up, I can’t use a third, even if it comes to me with full power and has a REALLY hard time staying inside!

I had no idea this was a common thing for kids (and even adults) with ADHD, so it wasn’t on my radar for me or my kids when they were in school. I have six children (all adults now), and in school, three of them were very much like I was. In fact, when my oldest daughter was in 4th grade, her teacher told me how amazing she was in his class with the only complaint that she blurts out the answers.

My reply was “Well, sorry to tell you there’s no changing that. She gets that from me and it’s just not something you can help. It’s in her blood.” I thought if my kids were like me, they were just like me not because of ADHD is highly hereditary (which it is) and their brains developed with this executive dysfunction………, but just because they just happened to get this trait from their mom.

It’s from my kids learning more about ADHD when they older that I suspected I had it as well. With that understanding has come a lot of fun connecting the dots of my past (and present) and has helped me recognize all the methods, tips, patterns I’ve developed and implemented in my life to work with the struggles and hurdles that ADHD can throw in my daily life.

If I ever write about something you can relate with, be sure to share with me. The more we come together, the more we’ll feel connected! My aim is always to help you feel valued, supported and inspired!

So many women are discovering they have ADHD in adulthood. Whether you’ve put the pieces together yourself, taken a quiz or have received a diagnosis from a doctor, once that lightbulb goes on, it’s somewhat lifechanging. Your life may go on as before, but with a new understanding or insight to why you do this or that. I’m sure everyone’s story is unique, but we all share this moment of discovery.

.

.

For me, it brought SO MANY answers!! Oh, so THAT’s why I do this, or THAT explains why I do that. I even remembered back to my first day of Kindergarten when I didn’t want my mom to leave (which actually is not very much like me — I was pretty independent and remembering telling my mom from the time I was little, “I’ll do it myself!” Her memory is me saying, “I’ll do it my way, you do it your way!” I really was a sweet child. I just figured I’d do it myself if I could and I already had a good way.

Anyway, back to the first day of school, my mom kept trying to leave and I kept asking her to stay. Eventually (and it couldn’t be that much later), I had to use the bathroom and told my mom. The quick thinker that my mom was, she said, “Oh I don’t know where the bathroom is, your teacher will have to show you” so the teacher’s aide walked me down the hall while my mom slipped out.

Thankfully, I never had a teacher who got angry at me for talking or blurting (I did do my best to please the teacher in every class, every year), but I do remember what it felt like to sit at my desk and have such a tremendous need to talk, participate, share, give the answer and not get called on. I’m sure my teachers did call on me, but it felt like they didn’t because I raised my hand far more often than they’d let me talk. My teacher would tell me to put my hand down and give someone else a chance. I even remember her saying, “We know you know the answer, Renee, let’s give someone else a chance.”

Then she’d call on a shy girl who wasn’t raising her hand and didn’t look like she wanted to talk or knew the answer. It’s not like I was wanting to take over or anything. I just had a huge urge to share what was in my head, to let the teacher know I was hearing what she was telling me, to participate in the conversation that felt like it was just between us.

One year, I’m pretty sure it was the night before my first day of school for third grade, I remember lying in my bed, planning out how I would be at school. I would no longer be the girl who raised my hand all the time, I would be shy. I would sit quietly and not blurt out any answers. I would sit still until the teacher said, “Renee, do you know the answer?” then I would so happily share! It would be so great!!

Then the next day at school, I sat at my desk and watched the clock. I tried and tried to stay still and not talk or raise my hand and everything in my being struggled with being the shy girl. I kept watching the clock and as it got closer to lunch time, I remember thinking, “THAT’S IT!!! I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” and I raised my hand and participated.

I’m not sure why that stayed with me, but I do know that throughout my years in school, even though I did well in my studies, I had a great need to communicate with my teacher or anyone in class (back in the day when we passed notes or french braided each other’s hair in class to help pass the time). As an adult, I’ve had to self-regulate best I can in a class situation, limiting myself to two times of raising my hand to share an experience or thought. And I really weigh out that second thought because if I use it up, I can’t use a third, even if it comes to me with full power and has a REALLY hard time staying inside!

I had no idea this was a common thing for kids (and even adults) with ADHD, so it wasn’t on my radar for me or my kids when they were in school. I have six children (all adults now), and in school, three of them were very much like I was. In fact, when my oldest daughter was in 4th grade, her teacher told me how amazing she was in his class with the only complaint that she blurts out the answers.

My reply was “Well, sorry to tell you there’s no changing that. She gets that from me and it’s just not something you can help. It’s in her blood.” I thought if my kids were like me, they were just like me not because of ADHD is highly hereditary (which it is) and their brains developed with this executive dysfunction………, but just because they just happened to get this trait from their mom.

It’s from my kids learning more about ADHD when they older that I suspected I had it as well. With that understanding has come a lot of fun connecting the dots of my past (and present) and has helped me recognize all the methods, tips, patterns I’ve developed and implemented in my life to work with the struggles and hurdles that ADHD can throw in my daily life.

If I ever write about something you can relate with, be sure to share with me. The more we come together, the more we’ll feel connected! My aim is always to help you feel valued, supported and inspired!